Controlling Anger

I’m so stressed with work and home, it’s hard to keep my cool. How do you do it?

Our Daddy MD Guide’s reply: I’m a type A person, hard driving, and it’s very difficult for me to be patient and control my temper.

My parents came to the United States from China, and they didn’t demonstrate affection when I was growing up. I knew they cared a lot about me, but they didn’t show it. About 15 years ago, I sat down with my dad about how that was hard for me. Shortly after, I sat down with my own kids and told them that I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but that doesn’t change how much I care about them. And I’m doing my best.

I haven’t mastered controlling my temper yet. It’s a day-to-day struggle. But as I’ve gotten older, the types of things that used to really bother me don’t bother me as much. I’ve found a lot of great advice in self-help books. (The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, Action by Robert Ringer, anything by the late great Jim Rohn, anything by Brisn Tracy, anything by Dan Kennedy) I focus a lot of energy and time on self-improvement.

Nathan Wei, MD, a father of four and a rheumatologist who’s been in practice for 30 years with the Arthritis Treatment Center in Frederick, MD